Breaking the Silence
by Miss-Murdered
Summary: Sousuke and Makoto muse on the nature of their relationship. Smut and Angst.
1. Silence

Disclaimer: I own nothin'

Pairings/Warnings: SouMako, m/m sexual content, light angst, PWP, bad language

A/N: A short two part fic from both Sousuke's and Makoto's perspectives. Part one inspired by Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode and part two by Stay the Night by Zedd.

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 **Part One - Silence**

It happens in silence. It always does. Sousuke doesn't like words as they disrupt, they distract and he prefers that it is quiet, that it is only gasped out moans and grunts as they fuck. Words are trite, Sousuke knows that, as he could chant out his name or he could whisper "fuck" and platitudes about how good it is but they are meaningless and pointless. As it doesn't matter what he says – it's what he feels and with Makoto he feels too fucking much.

He wanted sex. He wanted distraction. He didn't want to fall in love. He's too young for that, too lost and hopeless for that, but Makoto is lying under him and Sousuke can't help but feel all these things he never wanted to feel.

Green eyes are closed, hands are clenched in fists and Makoto's bottom lip is between his teeth and Sousuke has never seen anything more beautiful. He tries not to think like that – tries to think of Makoto as just a body and nothing more but Sousuke can't and so he thrusts forward sharply and hears Makoto gasp at the sensation as Sousuke buries his cock deep inside the warmth of Makoto's body.

He wanted comfort. He wanted something he wasn't quite sure of. He wanted something easy but it's not easy with Makoto. As Makoto looks at him and sees through him and Sousuke can no longer think straight. And it's not going to last as Makoto will be studying in Tokyo soon and Sousuke will be left behind and he can't stand the thought so he pulls his hips back and plunges forward, the deep hard thrust making every part of his body thrum in pleasure.

It's slow, Sousuke is keeping the pace slow and he can see the sweat on Makoto's skin as it shimmers in the late afternoon light. Makoto's siblings and parents are away visiting some relative and so they have all the time in the world and so Sousuke draws it out. He draws it out with long hard thrusts and he stops and leans down for kisses, their tongues teasing, their teeth biting and their hands lingering on muscles and fingernails digging in.

He hears Makoto whine, feels his legs wrap around his waist and Sousuke starts his pace again, agonisingly slow, until Makoto starts to buck his hips up…demanding, needing, wanting… and Sousuke gives in as his own body wants to reach its own high.

Their bodies slam together faster then as Sousuke starts thrusting harder. His balls slam against Makoto's skin as he fucks him hard, his cock diving in and out, his hips pistoning and Sousuke forgets all the doubts and all thoughts as he lets pleasure overwhelm. His eyes close but he reopens them to see Makoto and he gasps at how debauched he looks.

Makoto's back is arched and his own hand is wrapped around his big cock and Sousuke almost loses it there. But he doesn't, instead, he grabs for Makoto, grips his ass cheeks in his hands harshly and he changes their position with a little help from Makoto. He understands, Makoto always fucking understands, and a moment later he is in Sousuke's lap with his arms wrapped around Sousuke's shoulders. The move, the switch of position briefly makes his shoulder hurt but Sousuke says nothing and makes no indication of the pain as he doesn't need to tell Makoto. Makoto already knows. And Makoto knows what to do in their new position.

He wriggles his hips, he meets Sousuke's lips and he moves up and down in Sousuke's lap. Sousuke flexes his hips up, driving his cock deep and he finds Makoto's dick trapped in between their bodies. He strokes, feels the slickness of pre-cum as he glides his palm up and down and Makoto is trembling on each move of his body. They'll come soon, Sousuke knows, but for a moment he is completely lost in the rhythm of their bodies.

Their tongues circle, their mouths wide and Sousuke can barely stand it. He feels so deep, so connected and Sousuke has never felt this close to someone before, and he can't admit it. Can't tell Makoto how he feels. So instead, he rubs a thumb over the tip of Makoto's cock, gives a few firm strokes and he waits to feel Makoto's cum on his hand.

A few more thrusts, a few wild moves of hips accompanied by the stroke of his hand and Makoto comes. He comes and Sousuke groans as he feels Makoto's body tighten and his own cock twitches as climax rushes his senses.

It feels too much, too sensitive and raw but they ride it out together, a few more jerks of hips before they are spent and sticky, fingernails leaving marks in each other's skin. Sousuke breathes deeply, tries to think of something to say but he has nothing. Instead, all he does is bury his head in the skin of Makoto's shoulder and breathes him in, the scent of sweat and chlorine seeming to mingle in his very essence.

The silence stays, at least as they disentangle limbs, as they clean away the stickiness and they both look at the marks left on one another. But then Makoto smiles, does that cock of head and smile thing and Sousuke knows he should say something but he doesn't. Words are too much, too jarring, too serious and so instead he lets Makoto break the silence.

"Want to shower?" he asks, he offers and Sousuke nods.

"Yeah."

There's so much Sousuke wants to say, so much he wishes he could but instead, all he does is watch Makoto walk away as he stays in silence. One day he'll say something but until then… it will always happen in silence.


	2. Breaking

**Part Two - Breaking**

It's hard to think straight with Sousuke. It's even harder to say what he means. So Makoto doesn't say much. Instead he keeps his bottom lip between his teeth as they fumble off clothes, as they kiss and touch, as Sousuke slides his hand down Makoto's jeans and rubs his cock through the material of his underwear. They have time, more time than usual as Sousuke has ensured that, and Rin will not be back tonight. But that doesn't mean they take things slow. It doesn't mean that it's romance and candles and kissing in the gentle light. It isn't like that.

Makoto doesn't really want it to be like that. He likes that Sousuke's shirt is already on the floor and that he's already beginning to lose his jeans as they stumble back towards the bunk. They'll fuck on Rin's bunk. It's easier than Sousuke's. And Makoto should feel guilty about that, he reallyshould but there's something naughty and forbidden about it and so Makoto falls back onto the bottom bunk and wriggles out of his jeans, not caring about how eager he seems.

Sousuke smirks and watches Makoto ungraceful strip. But Makoto doesn't care. They've done this enough for the embarrassment to be gone and Sousuke is removing his own jeans, tight boxer briefs having fallen to the floor with them. They're both naked and Makoto crawls to the edge of the bunk and without preamble licks at Sousuke's cock, his eyes meeting Sousuke's for a second as his tongue swirls around the head. He feels Sousuke's fingers thread in his hair and Makoto closes his eyes as he feels Sousuke's body tremble ever so slightly.

He's not sure why Sousuke trembles – maybe it's just the anticipation or the chill in the air – but then Makoto bobs his head forward and slides his lips around Sousuke's dick, taking him as far as he can. The taste is heady on his tongue and Makoto ignores the discomfort as he uses all the techniques he has learnt and sucks at Sousuke's cock. He takes him as deep as he can and then he releases him, licks teasingly around the head and tastes the pre-cum before he takes long swipes from base to tip. He knows his skill level is not great but Makoto can hear Sousuke's ragged breathing and he can feel the small incremental movement of his hips and Makoto knows he can make him come like that. If he wants to. But Sousuke doesn't and Makoto feels the gentle pull of his hair and he looks up and meets Sousuke's lust-clouded eyes.

Makoto wipes at his mouth and backs off. And Sousuke joins him on the bunk.

It's easy now. They know the rhythm and the cadence of each other's bodies. They know the way to make each other breathless, how to make each other moan out little staccato breaths and Makoto doesn't really know what it means between them but he doesn't care. As when he's with Sousuke he forgets about how complicated and frightening everything is and just feels.

His future is soon and intimidating and scary. He's not ready for Tokyo, not ready to be a man but he can't tell anyone. Not when his families hope and dreams are riding on him. Not when he needs to prove himself and move out of the shadows. He can't talk about it. Not with anyone. But with Sousuke he forgets all those things the plague his mind and haunt his dreams. He forgets as they press their bodies together, as their cocks align and their hands grab hard at one another's skin.

Sometimes Makoto wishes they talked. Sometimes he wished he knew what Sousuke was thinking. They may be in tune during sex but the rest is awkward, difficult and Makoto doesn't know how to make it better. He wishes it meant nothing to him, Makoto wished it was just some sex thing but when he sees Sousuke's expressions, distant and sad, Makoto just wants to help and his heart skips a beat and he knows he feels too much. And he can't say that.

So instead he moans as he's close and they are only grinding. Sousuke won't last long either so Makoto exploits that, pushes at him so that he's on his back and Makoto fumbles for the lube that was in the pocket of Sousuke's jeans. The fumble, the change of position gives a small respite, a small brief moment of reprieve and when Makoto returns Sousuke has his legs spread and his eyes are impossibly dark. He doesn't say it though Makoto wishes he would. But his eyes say it. Fuck me.

Makoto always wants to be careful and Sousuke is always impatient. But Makoto doesn't relent as he slides fingers in, as he stretches and kisses at perfect abs and licks at Sousuke's dripping cock. There's nothing as sexy as Sousuke and Makoto tries to dampen down his desire so he lasts longer than one thrust once he's inside.

And when he is inside he lasts long enough. It's not as long as he'd like as being inside Sousuke is hot and tight and perfect and he can barely breathe when Sousuke jerks his hips up. But he thrusts in hard, fast, and pistons in and out. Their bodies slap together, the slick filthy sounds of sex filling the room as the bunk creaks and when Sousuke comes, Makoto feels finger nails in his shoulder blades and he can't help but follow. His hips stutter, his cock throbs deep inside and he comes with a whisper into Sousuke's skin.

Makoto knows he should go. That even though they have the time, he should go back home. But he doesn't move and neither does Sousuke as their breathing evens out and their skins seem to cool down.

He should go as Makoto as graduation is soon and Sousuke is hurt enough and they are too young for this but Makoto cannot move. So instead he lifts his head, looks down at Sousuke and he cocks his head as he looks at the way Sousuke's face looks content in the post-coital high. He likes that look and Makoto can't help the small smile on his face.

"I could…" he begins and then he falters.

This is too much. If Makoto says something it could become more. More complicated, more than it should…but Makoto can't help it. He speaks.

"I could stay tonight… if Rin's not back… if you'd like?"

The question hangs in the air until Makoto feels hands at his back, fingers tracing his spine and Sousuke gives a soft smile in return.

"Rin's not back… and I'd like you to stay."

Makoto doesn't know what to say so instead he presses his lips to Sousuke's gently. They haven't said much but they've said something. And maybe that was all that they needed to do.


End file.
